Is It More difficult To Be Husband Than Wife?

I have always been amazed at the social assumptions that all children and youthful women obsessively think of their wedding day. You know how the story goes "every little girl dreams of her wedding day", and so on. But are those assumption really true? Are all children and young women continually dreaming of their wedding day? I didn't find that to be a reality to be in the crowd of girls and women I hung out with.

Somebody wrote in a letter to a lover" It is simpler to be a friend than a friend, for the same reason that it is more harder to show a ready wit all day long than to produce an occasion bon mot."

Surely, with the arduous task of being a husband ahead of them, boys are prepared by our culture to accept the mantle of such responsibility? Surely they plan their futures with as much attention as their female peers? Surely they are groomed to be grooms?

Well, not exactly. As a number of people have pointed out, from stand-up comics to sociologists, there is no masculine equivalent of Brides magazine; it will be a long time before Grooms magazine hits the newsstand.

Young men do not usually discuss the potential members of their wedding party or possible colors for their cummerbund.

When asked, most young women can describe their ideal wedding in detail, although they might hesitate to admit it for fear of seeming too eager to marry or for fear of seeming anachronistic in their wishes.

When I ask, "What will your wedding be like?" young women will often describe weddings that would take more preparation than the coronation of the emperor of Japan. It is telling that they can do this in spite of the fact that they might not even have a boyfriend, let alone a fiancé, at the time. Not that there aren't slip ups in the fantasy: One student of mine kept referring to her fiancé as her "finance" by mistake not a good beginning.

The ideas of the dream wedding cherished by these young women were far more focused than their ideas of the dream husband, and their plans did not appear to depend in any way on the individual man they would happen to marry at the time. In contrast, the typical young man, when asked, "What will your wedding be like?" responds that he has not considered the event.

Of course, as one female student of mine muttered with a certain amount of bitterness, "All the guys have to do is rent a tuxedo. Why can't women rent wedding dresses?" Why indeed? A man might, presumably, have more than one occasion to wear a tuxedo in his lifetime, where a woman is meant to wear her wedding dress once. Yet she purchases the garment for what can be an astronomical sum while he rents the dark suit for a minimum amount of money, with no cash down. It's like the old children's game of finding "what's wrong with this picture?"

Shouldn't it be the other way around? "A wedding dress is supposed to represent a woman's purity and emphasize the importance and uniqueness of the day," tutored a wedding consultant at an all-day seminar for prospective brides as she convinced eighteen-year-olds to purchase one of the more modest numbers--one of the mere thousand-dollar dresses.

What's the rented tuxedo on the groom supposed to represent, I wondered, the fact that the groom has been around the block a few times and is uncertain whether to commit himself to relationship? Or, perhaps more importantly, does the rented tux indicate that he is a sort of "generic" man, a figure who will not be the center of attention on this day?

"The young guys who come in to lease ceremonial wear do seldom have any say in the matter," says the administrator of a main rental outlet. "They are informed what to order by their friends, and they don't feel like it's any business of theirs to dispute, even though they are uncomfortable with the selection. But the boys mostly appear to think along the lines of ‘Well, she gets to do what she desires for about twenty weeks. Then I get to call the shots.'" There appeared to be basic inequalities at the job that can't help either member of the nuptial couple survive life after the wedding.

It is my opinion that there is too much stress placed on the wedding day. It is truely after the wedding day that concerns. This is when life as a couple starts. And expectantly before the wedding day, you have worked out communication with your partner, and that the wedding day could be a celebration of your trip to that point and what is to follow. So many ladies make it all about them and have to have these preposterous costly clothes and decorations.

Copyright by Lucy who likes shopping online, going fishing, often searches juicy couture watch and oakley sunglass on the Internet.