Does Knowledge Always Set You Free?

After lots of days of connection, followed by silence, it would certainly help me to understand why the lost love contacted me after many years. Yes, I think I accept the following silence but really knowing why the original contact was made would clarify things for me. The following silence from the initiator leaves me with a lingering sadness, and leaves me wondering why that person decided to intrude into my present life.
For the reason that we are rational, bright people, we believe that if we knew the explanations for things, the reasons would set us free. If only we knew how that other person thought or felt, or why he acted like that, our feelings would be healed by the knowledge.

It works that way in the movies, like Marnie and Sybil. The character discovers the hidden fact about her childhood and she is cured. Just like that! Real life usually doesn't work like that.

The members of my website want to understand their Lost Loves. Why did their Lost Loves react the way they did? Or why didn't they react at all. Back and forth questions and possible answers submitted by caring others. What does it all mean? We can figure out that other person if we put our heads together.

But you know what? Sometimes even the Lost Love doesn't understand why they did what they did. He or she might be able to give you a rationalization, something that sounds right to the two of you, but in actuality that wasn't the motivator at all. The action resulted from an underlying feeling and the thought processes came later. It's like burning yourself on a stove: your hand reacts and pulls away before the thought "I've burned my hand!"

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Knowing why they did what they did won't make you feel any better. Once you have an answer to that, you'll also have a "yes, but" The emotions don't instantly fall into place and heal when a rational answer is presented.

Let's say Lost Love is married. After a couple years, he just disappears. Why would he do that? Well, because he is married. The answer was there from the beginning. Does that help? The grief is not in fact, the grieving is just getting started.

Ideas and emotions don't always match up. Emotions are healed while new emotions take their place. That is, nothing can remove the hurt apart from acceptance and a lot of time to cure.

And what I am saying, in a word, is that if a lost love contacts his lost love to give an explanation or apology, it often does more harm than good; it opens up the communication channel again and you need more. You get hopeful once more, but it's like salt in the wound: "if he called, he must want something more than just to explain, but he's gone again. So really, why did he return?

Copyright by Lucy who likes shopping online, going fishing, often searches oakley eyewear and fashion things on the Internet.